Thursday, April 12, 2007

The ugly face of resentment

Yes, it's returned to ruin our serenity and steal our peace. Of course, I am referring to the ugly face of resentment. A few months back, my husband returned to to meetings very actively following a relapse. He started picking up a friend who needed a ride very regularly. The friend also needed a ride to the meeting I attend so I pick him up and take him on Wednesdays. Well, we did him a couple of fav0rs and didn't set boundaries properly and things have become uncomfortable. My husband would buy him cigarettes or pick up the tab when the group went out for coffee afterwards. The cigarette money has escalated to $200 of borrowed money and the cup of coffee has turned into a full meal at least once a week. My husband even started avoiding his home group so he could avoid buying this guy dinner. The icing on the cake is that the dude smoked in my car. Now, I used to smoke and smoke a lot and I might be more forgiving of this, BUT, I have a daughter with terrible congestion problems who rides in that car everyday. So, I built a case against this guy (he's not disabled from Hep C, I worked with Hep C, why are my taxes paying for his meal ticket, you get the picture) I fully understand that he is only doing what any other fine, red blooded, move-shootin, ex druggie alkie would do in the same situation, but he's doing it to me and I hate being the sucker. So, my husband called his sponsor last night and I am going to call 'my girls' today and we will work on polite ways to say, "Quit spending my money and poisining my child,' or something like that.
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3 comments:

Omara said...

This is a tough one... I totally get where you're coming from just don't cut him loose with that 'ugly face' you put up (LOL), do it with love.

lushgurl said...

I would have to agrre with Omara! People can't do stuff to us unless we allow it! I know it's hard sometimes, but in the end it is easier to say NO in the first place than to feed resentments by saying yes...

A.J.Reams said...

You are doing the right thing. It's best to talk it over with someone before you finally tell the guy NO MORE!

I have a hard time saying no. I'd probably wind up in the same situation.