It looks like pickles

I am not awake today. The combination of my job, a sick, nursing infant, and a preschooler who is potty training has completely drained me. Fatigue started when the post doc nearly killed his computer by forcing it to function with all 30 gigabytes of memory full to the tippy tippy top (he has only been here 6 months, I have been here 4 years and have used 800 MB). I spent all of Mon am explaining to him that the 250 papers he was saving to his hard drive in super-rich-text complete-color-illustration format would definitely still exist in the medical database a month from now and he could trust the database to save them for him. This was followed by 3 hours of continuous nursing with Scoots as soon as I arrived home and that certainly contributed to my fatigue.
But, potty training really was the final blow. Manther absolutely must operate in extremes at all times. I found out last week that it took until the age of 3 years and 11 months to potty train her because she holds her pee for all 8 hours at daycare rather than use a potty that is not tucked away in a private room. I was more than a little shocked to find that she is (or is capable of) doing this and explained the importance finding and using a potty when the urge occurs rather than get sick with a UTI. So, I was woken up at 2:30 am, after two full hours of sleep, by a little voice telling me she had to go potty. More precisely, poo poo. I perched on the edge of the bathtub and fought to stay awake and keep my balance as we poo pooed and discussed Spiderman. Apparently, he was on TV last night and Manther really likes him and wanted to know the details of his existance: does he live in a house, does he have parents, does he come in the front door or down the chimney, will he come to my birthday party, if we were in trouble would he rush in to rescue us, and on and on and on. Finally, there was silence. I looked up from the doze I had fallen into to see Manther standing next to and staring into the potty. I asked if she was okay and she said, "I went poo poo." I congratulated her and asked why she looked concerned. "My poo poo looks like pickles." Funny? Yes, but not at 2:45am. After many assurances that everyone's poop looks something like what she saw in the potty, we returned to bed (praise God). From this point on, all fruits and fiber that are served in my household will be served at morning meals only.

Is Jello really a food?

I am posting again. Things are a bit scary at work and I need an outlet. I mean scary like 'the economy is scary', not like 'the people are scary'. The people at work can be scary, but I adjusted to that long ago. I can adjust to almost anything as long as the paycheck still comes. Once that paycheck thing stops happening, everything feels scary.
Mom (or grandma if you're my kid) has been babysitting for the past two weeks and I love it. She really is far more talented in the domestic department than I am. She cares about her meals and cooks like she means it. I cook to avoid the loud complaining from Hubby and the kids after several days of no meals. I am of German Lutheran heritage and it is reflected in my mother's cooking (not mine). Meals have a meat and a potato and a vegetable and, if you're feeling fancy, a jello mold. I don't know why German Lutherans emphasize potatoes and jello in their cooking because I don't think either is a health food, yet the jello molds and potato salads are a presence at every potluck. Manther (she's almost 4 now) hasn't seen a lot of jello molds and seemed very enthusiastic when Grandma made one. It was a very pretty orange in a white bowl and had carefully suspended mandarin oranges. Grandma put is outside to finish 'setting' and Manther added a little snow for garnish. Grandma carefully removed the snow and issued a gentle reprimand. I came home from work about this time and thanked mom and sent her on her way home. I was nursing Scoots (my 3 month old) and relaxing and I felt an unnatural quiet in the house. I walked into the kitchen and found the jello mold dismantled and assembled into a sort of orange stonehenge on the kitchen table. Mandarin orange slices were scattered in front of the orange monuments and I began to piece together that they were the 'people' and the monuments their 'houses'. I launched into the 'food is not a toy' lecture and noticed confusion on Manther's face. "But, this is Jello," she replied. I started to explain that Jello is food, but I realized I'm not convinced of that truth. So, I switched gears to 'let's not hurt Grandma's feelings by breaking her pretty things' and scooped the jello back into the bowl.

I had a baby

I guess this isn't a shock based on my previous post. On 12/4 beautiful my second beautiful baby girl came into the world and it was a pleasantly uneventful planned C section. She is fantastic and calm and easy and likes to sleep and she's a perfect fit for our family. To my great surprise, my extremely sensitive, high strung, high maintenance 3 year old loves her sister and hasn't tried to kill her....yet.
I am back at work and even that is okay. I only feel overwhelmed sometimes and I can usually breathe my way through it. I am meeting and trying to connect with moms in recovery and, although I can't say I have met anyone who can replace my 'we got sober together' sisters, I have started building some new relationships. I attended a birthday party for a friend I have in the program and saw many folks I haven't seen in years and I loved showing off my girls!!
Life is still a wonderful gift and I am happy and grateful to be here. I want to post more and maybe that will happen, but if it doesn't that is okay too.

I got pregnant

It is so sad that I haven't posted, blogged, or read blogs in eight months. I miss this part of my day. I got swept away with so many distractions, good distractions, that I couldn't keep up. Even though I am posting now and thinking I will start posting regularly again, there is a voice in my head telling me that I am not being honest with myself about the number of hours in the day and the number of directions I have split myself.
The list of good distractions includes a few good experiments and the race for manuscript preparation so we can stay funded, pregnancy in the middle of March, and somewhere between 2-3 students in the laboratory all summer with lots of needs and questions. I raced through every day and to meet the immediate needs at work and home and I don't remember looking at anything on the internet unless I absolutely needed to. Half the manuscripts are published now, although we still have two more to do in the immediate future. I am due in 6 weeks and, aside from a little diabetes, this has been a pretty easy pregnancy. The students went back to school and are here far less often. This little extra time may give me the opportunity to blog, or this may be the lull before the next storm.
If it matters to anyone reading (and it might have mattered to me if I were reading this), I was struggling with infertility and it was very frustrating. My husband and I tried more than 20 times (like two years) and the disappointments were overwhelming. We made a decision to not pursue invasive, expensive fertility options even though the fertility doc who checked us out recommended some. It happened for us and I am very glad that we did things the way we did. I am not saying we were right and everyone else who handles infertility differently was wrong, but I am comfortable with the path with took even though it was painful at times.
Hubby and Manther (the 3 1/2 year old) are doing well. Hubby is extremely active in AA and runs two meetings and is going to a men's retreat this weekend. His performance at work has apparently been great (at least in my mind) and he is now top salesman and store manager. He has a lot of pressure, but handles it well most of the time. Manther is quite a big girl now, even though she refuses to cooperate and use the potty, and seems very happy in her older preschool room at daycare. She is not happy about having a little sister, but she is a diva/princess and I did not expect gracious acceptance of a new sibling to share stuff with. She will adjust and in 20 years she will probably love her new sister.
I go to my one AA meeting and week and church on Sunday. I am not as active in AA as hubby is, but that is where I am right now and life will change when the kids get older and I will have more free time for meeting and fellowship. I get lots of phone calls in to friends and family members and I feel happy and not isolated.
That's it for now. Today I look forward to finishing my day at work and going home to delouse my child and my house after a note a received regarding an outbreak at daycare. Always something to look forward to...

Manther grows up

It's Monday am and I really should be doing work, but I am having a little trouble getting motivated. Thank you all for your support on my last post. Things haven't improved, but I have just a little bit more acceptance this week than I did last week. We'll see what next week brings
Today I am posting about Manther because I miss her on Monday mornings. I enjoy my time with her over the weekend and she's on my mind when I go back to work. She was more challenging than the average toddler from the age of 18 months until about 2 1/2. At first I thought I had a skewed perspective on the situation because I was her mother. I knew all toddlers were defiant and she just 'felt' more defiant than average because I was so close to the situation. But, I started getting notes from daycare and they confirmed that what I was experiencing was outside of the norm. Well, we heightened discipline and that seemed to improve the situation. Now that some life rules have been established (you may not answer 'no' to everything, you do have to follow instructions, you may not climb or leap from or onto furniture, humans, or animals, AND you do have to wear clothes or at least a diaper and appropriate winter clothing outside because we live in Michigan), we can actually do stuff together rather than engage in a series of behaviors and reprimands. The bonus of having a 'challenging' kid is they seem to have an extra dose of personality and that makes for a lot of fun when they get older. Of course, it can also lead to attention-seeking criminal behavior when they get even older, but we have a few years.
Manther has still loves Elmo and her Sesame Street friends ('all the boys' as Daddy calls thems), but she has developed a second love that was unexpected given her tomboy personality. She loves ballerinas and ballet. I know this is common for a lot of little girls, but she refused to wear a dress for 12 months and I never anticipated an obsession with the pink tutu and tights. She has a couple of ballet cartoons that she adores and she desperately tries to imitate them with clumsy awkward toddler movements. I watch with mommy pride and congratulate and tell her how she looks just like a ballerina.
Last week was a rough one for her and I'm not sure she's recovered. She caught Mom and Dad in a compromising position. We didn't even know we were caught until we finished and walked into the hallway. She was sitting silently in the middle of the hallway, staring at the wall and anxiously sucking on her pacifier. My husband and I gasped and went back into the bedroom and wondered what to do. What did we do? Nothing. How do you explain that to a 2 yr 8 month old? Mommy and Daddy are playing. No you can't play, too. Because it's a game for adults. I don't know why. Do you want candy and an Elmo video? So, rather than have this stupid discussion I totally ignored the situation. She was really mad at Daddy that morning and wouldn't let him touch her, but she seems to have recovered. I wonder what version of the story they heard at daycare.

No good reason

Hello everyone, or anyone who might still be stopping by to see if I will ever post again. Thank you for the care and concern expressed in the comments after I went MIA. I suppose I owe an explanation. Maybe I don't. I guess I'll give one anyway. I don't think there is one specific reason I stopped posting. I did not relapse and I have actually gotten quite comfortable as part of the AA community in the suburbs. This is something I thought would never happen. My husband and I are still married, employed, and sober. Given the current state of the economy, the unemployment rate in Michigan, and the fact that we are both recovering addicts, these are all miracles.
I did ponder whether the blog was a good investment of my time. It certainly hasn't been a windfall financially and, if I spent my blog time researching investments and playing with small sums of money, I could probably be more successful. I opened a Sharebuilder account and I am working on learning a bit about the world of stocks and trading. I have a brother-in-law and sister-in-law who do a lot of this stuff and, don't worry, I won't invest more than I can afford to lose.
I have certainly been moody. I haven't been able to get pregnant again after a year plus of trying. We had some visits to the fertility doc and there is nothing really wrong, although some of the numbers aren't optimal. I am on meds, but they don't appear to be enhancing the process. The reality is this: Our chances of a second child are slipping away. I certainly realize that we could drive ourselves thousands of dollars into debt and try to force a pregnancy. I am terrified by debt and the cost of a second would be enough of a burden without starting out $15,000 in the hole. Not to mention, we could have multiples and where would that leave us? $2400 a month for double infant daycare? I quit my job and eliminate all our benefits? More than any of this, I won't seek invasive fertility treatments because I don't want the theories of western medicine to become my God. I believe in the power of the Almighty, if I am supposed to have a second child, it will happen with or without pills, injections, and implants.
I am sad and more than little bit angry at times, but I know that this is part of acceptance and healing. Many bloggers write to work through their pain. Not me. When the pain is great, I get busy. I clean, sort, organize, do home repairs, attend social events, and create a frenzied life that doesn't allow me time to mourn. There are many who would say this isn't healthy. I don't care whether it is or not. It is a better coping skill than getting high. I have been doing that for a few months and I am ready to slow down now. Does this mean I will actively blog again? I haven't decided yet.
Thank you all for listening. If anyone reads this and thinks about leaving a comment suggesting that I will get pregnant and I need to 'relax' or 'be patient' or, worse yet, tell me some other infertile woman's success story, please don't leave the comment. I do know that there is a chance of pregnancy, however, I am 38 and my husband is 52 and our time is limited. I really feel that focusing on acceptance is healthier than creating false hope.

The boss is in England with a meager pile of data to present and I have some breathing space again. I was not able to get all the data she requested and I feel like I disappointed her, but she was nice about it (as always) and I know she is skilled at giving presentations and can make the best of it.

Meanwhile, I have evolved into something that disgusts me - the parent that goes to ridiculous lengths to get their child presents she doesn't need. We ordered a motorcycle for Manther's birthday. Amazon backordered it about 10 times and it's new possible arrival date is Sept 12th. The order was placed on April 24th and this is obviously a hideous amount of time to wait for a gift. My husband cannot tolerate disappointing his little girl with another delay. Manther does not seem to understand or care. She thinks her pink big wheel is a motorcycle and she makes motorcycle noises when she sits on it. I am perfectly satisfied to cancel the order and save $100. Not Hubby. So, I (I guess we, he does have a job and pay bills) spent $110 and I am driving 40 minutes to purchase a display model tonight. I predict Manther will be scared of it and it won't get used the rest of the summer.

Are the suburbs a disease that infects your brain? I am sure I wouldn't have displayed behavior like this a couple of years ago.
TAGS:
family home

Absenteeism

Here's some more sidewalk chalk art for you to enjoy compliments of the girls on my block.
I have hardly been posting and I am missing my blog time very much. Thank you all for the support you gave on my last post. I guess I didn't clarify that I was not the one giving the presentation. The resident in our lab gave the presentation, but I had to mingle with the doctor types during the scheduled lectures. I got frustrated because the resident did not prepare properly and his presentation made him, our supervisor, and our research look shoddy. As a result of my frustration, I called him an asshole when I was in the women's bathroom and the director of our department was in the next stall. My coworker was with me and tried to make nice conversation with the director and pretend like there wasn't a lunatic cursing in the bathroom, but there is only so much you can do to clean up a situation like that. You can take the girl out the the streets, but you can't always take the streets out of the girl.

Here's an update:

Nael - She is working her tail off for another presentation her boss will do in England in one week. The data is not coming together very well and it is making her cranky. Also, she is working long hours and this is making her cranky. The upside is she no longer feels like an outsider at her weekly AA meeting because she has to spew so much emotion/frustration at tables to stay sane that everyone feels like they know everything about her. Her sister has gone to St. Louis and this is sad, but they still stay in contact with almost daily phone calls and she is looking forward to visits. Apparently, she is never going to get pregnant and have a second baby. She could not even find an LH surge the past two months and is getting tired of mandatory, unspontaneous sex when she does occasionally surge.

Manther - She has learned where the park is in relation to the house and has a tantrum everytime we drive, bike, or walk by it unless we stop and play. When mommy is having a bad day, she has to drive out of her way to avoid the park because she can't tolerate the tantrum. A few days ago, Manther received some cotten candy from the neighbor and mommy cut her off after she had consumed generous amounts of it. When Manther found that the the tantrum wasn't getting her what she wanted, she went over to the neighbor and asked for more candy. Mommy was quite embarassed. Manther's terrible twos do have some positives. She does not have meltdowns when I leave her at daycare or with sitters and she is becoming a lot of fun to interact with when she isn't being a stubborn, demanding, little cuss.

Hubby - Hubby works all the time now. He worked 14 hours yesterday and he will work 16 today and probably 12 hours days all weekend. He has worked something like 21 days straight and I just pray he doesn't collapse. He has been cranky, but I forgive him.

I promise to check posts tomorrow and see where everyone is at. I can't make any promises about the next week, but I do know that on 7/9/7 the boss takes the data I have and I get some of my life back.

Happy 4th everyone.

And the answer is...

This is a sidewalk chalk original that was a gift to me from Lila, the 10 year old who lives down the block. The older girls on the block came over to play with Manther today and they were so excited about the sidewalk chalk. It's from Crayola and it's shaped like eggs. They told me it was cool. It may be the only cool thing I've ever done.
As long as we're on the topic of me not being cool, I have to share something. When I did a meme a few days ago I revealed that Nael is not my real name. A couple people asked what my real name is and why I picked Nael. My real name is Sarah, but I was concerned about anonymity when I started this blog so I used a pen name. I guess I'm still a bit concerned about anonymity, but I'm sure this won't allow anyone to identify me because there are a lot of sarahs out there. The nerdy thing is how I picked 'Nael'. It's a bit unlikely because I think it's an male irish name and I am neither male nor irish. I took the words sober and clean and I spelled them backwards and came up with Nael C. Robes. After sharing this, you are probably wondering if I am a pathetic 10 year old and whether I spend my spare time writing my first name next to the last name of hot celebrities so I can see how my name will look after we get married. I am not 10 years old, but I might still occasionally think about marrying a celebrity if my husband kicked off. You are definitely not reading a cool person's blog.
TAGS:
family parenting mom kids parents

A sea of gratitude for the anonymous lady at CVS

My husband and I planned all sorts of home improvements and repairs for Memorial Day weekend. We did a respectable job of getting things accomplished despite the distraction of Manther being a whiny, clingy, obstinate, two year old terror. By Monday afternoon, I was worn out. But, we still had one very important job to complete. When we moved into this house, my mother-in-law gave us her old living room furniture to replace the nasty, beat-up, sectional we had. That was three years ago and we never managed to move it to our house. The move was finally going to happen on Monday. As we struggled to squeeze the couch through the doorway of the spare bedroom it was stored in, Manther had a meltdown and gave repeated loud, piercing screams for 5 minutes. It was impossible for us to continue moving furniture with that racket so I took a few minutes to calm her down. I soon realized a pacifier was absolutely necessary for us to complete this move and I had not brought one. We drove to CVS and Manther spotted her 'noogies' as soon as we entered the baby aisle. I snatched them off the shelf and quickly paid. She was begging and insisting so I opened the package as soon as we stepped out the door. The silence that followed was heavenly.

We returned to my mother-in-law's house and I started to exit the car. I couldn't find my wallet anywhere and I felt rising panic. The neighborhoods surrounding my mother-in-law's have seen a lot of poverty and drugs in recent years and the CVS I had visited was in a ghetto. I could not recall what I had done with my wallet, but I was certain that I would be robbed if I left it anywhere near that store. My husband had just given me money for bills and there was $600 in the wallet. I was in tears. My husband and I (and Manther who is now totally silent and quite interested in mommy's meltdown) raced back to the store. As we pulled in the driveway, I saw a woman standing in front of the store with my wallet in her hands. She had found it sitting on the trash can and was wondering whether to take it back into the store. All of my cash was still in it. I thanked her several times and I wanted to hug her, but I didn't want to scare her with my drama. It would have taken my husband and I a month to replace that money and it would have been a financial burden for that month and probably the next. I was convinced we would never find that wallet and, if we did, it wouldn't have any cash in it. I am so grateful to the anonymous woman for her honesty and I pray that I an always be that honest, also.
TAGS:
family parenting mom kids parents

Evidence for expression of my genes...finally

Manther has always favored her father and his side of the family. She looks like him and acts like him. They share favorite foods, a wide instep, and a predisposition for cold sores. That's the short list. Everyday we find a new characteristic she and her father share and sometimes I feel like the outsider. I had my day on Saturday. We lost electricity and went to McDonald's for lunch. She can't eat at McDonald's because the allure of the play area is too overwhelming, so she ate when we got home. I put some ketchup on a plate so she could dip her fries and nuggets and left the room to do laundry (what else?). When I returned, she was face first in the ketchup licking it from the plate. This is my little sister's signature move and definitely a contribution from my gene pool. I guess she is half mine after all!

TAGS:
family parenting mom kids parents

Your mama is so big...

My husband stole one of the promotional balloons from a sale at work and brought it home. It is gigantic and Manther loves it. Manther only completes about 1 night a week in her own bed (major bad habit that her parents are slacking on), so, when Manther moved to our bed, the balloon spent the night with us, too. I woke up staring at this monstrous blue circle and my first thought was a line I heard at a comedy show, "Your mama is so big she has her own moon." I guess it's time to go on a diet.
TAGS:
family parenting mom kids parents

Whining

Oh yeah, I'm doing it. I have to go to a birthday party tonight. For a nephew and a mother-in-law. I have to go to a potluck tomorrow. For a coworker. All are nice people, but I want to frolick and bike ride and run through the thick, lush spring grass with my daughter. I don't want to spend my precious and limited time after work going to parties and making pasta dishes. Okay, enough whining. I am an adult and therefore must accept a serious reduction in frolicking time. I will dutifully go to Meijer's and proceed with wrapping gifts and cooking. Yuck.
TAGS:
family parenting mom kids parents

He cars and she cars

Manther is a tomboy and really enjoys vehicles. 'Car' was a word she learned early on and shortly after that she started referring to my sedan as 'mama car' and her father's van as 'dada car'. When we went for walks, she would point out other sedans and say 'mama car' or 'dada car' when large square vehicles drove by. I acknowledged what she was saying by repeating, "Yes, that does look like mama's car." or "Yes, a van just like dada's." Slowly, her language skills are improved and she pointed out trucks and motorcycles. Despite her improved vocabulary, she continues to call smaller sedans and compacts 'mama car' and larger vans and minivans 'dada car'. A she talked more and more about these cars and vans, I began to realize the 'mama' and 'dada' indicate that she has assigned them a gender and I have reinforced this by agreeing with her for the past 6 months. Apparently, all smaller, low-to-ground vehicles are feminine and taller square vehicles are masculine. Trucks and motorcycles are outlyers right now. I don't really know how to correct this situation, or if I need to. I think the vehicles in 'Cars' had a gender. Weren't some of those feminine? So, I guess I'll let her go on thinking there are 'he' cars and 'she' cars. I think men have been assigning a gender to their vehicles for decades and it doesn't appear to have screwed them up. Or has it?
TAGS:
family parenting mom kids parents

MIA

I haven't been posting much the past few days. I feel (and look) like ICK from a nasty cold Manther brought home from daycare. Manther and hubby and I are all stuck in the ICK and the theme at our house is short tempered irritability with lots of crying and whining. My husband is the one doing most of the crying and whining. Manther has decided to get as many waking hours as possible with the ICK and only sleeps about 6 hours a night. These hours are not consecutive. I was feeling like a wimp, but then I came into work and saw a coworker who also has the ICK. I am not mentally exaggerating how crappy I look because she was stumbling around wearing a thick sweater and a pale face with sunken eyes and a puffy, red nose. I could totally relate and am wearing the same sweater and face. So, lots of fluids and rest and I hope to post something more upbeat tomorrow.
TAGS:
family parenting mom kids parents

On bad bedside manner

Manther had her two year check-up yesterday and I had a special problem I wanted to point out to the doctor. Manther has an intermittent lazy eye that she inherited from my husband's side of the family. I first noticed it a few months ago and immediately went to the internet because I wanted to confirm that some latent virus had not gone beserk and attacked her neurological system. I did research and more or less excluded this possibility and also found intermittent lazy eyes do not usually affect sight, especially at 2 years old. Based on this, I decided to wait until her two year check up to point it out to the doctor and proceed with treatment.
During the appointment yesterday, the doctor asked if I noticed anything unusual and I mentioned the eye.

Her reply, "I'm SO glad you brought that up. That's SO important." I started to reply and was cut off.

"That HAS to be looked at. If this is not treated while she if young, the brain could shut down in that area. Do you know what that means?" I start to reply and I am cut off.

"She could go BLIND in that eye. If the brain shuts down in that area, she'll be BLIND in one eye. Now, I know you can live with one eye, but do you want that for her?" I stop trying to reply and start suppressing a smirk. The doctor sees that I am trying not to laugh at her because I am thinking of 'A Christmas Story' and 'you'll poke your eye out' and she takes it down a notch.

"I know losing sight at this age is not likely, but if this goes untreated that could happen."

Can someone tell me at what point in time during this appointment I denied that my child had a medical condition or refused treatment? Here's a word of advice to the pediatricians out there: it's a bit upsetting for parents to be told their children are going blind, so maybe that shouldn't be EM-PHA-SIZED unless necessary. If you enjoy watching a mother weeping and clutching her chest in the examination room while begging for immediate surgery to save her poor baby's eye, then this is definitely the approach you want to take. However, if you would like everyone to remain sane during the appointment, how about responding with, "I'm glad you brought that up. I'm going to give you a referral to ophthalmology and they can tell you how to proceed." Jeesh!
TAGS:
family parenting mom kids parents

Happy Birthday Manther!

Yesterday was Manther's second birthday. The celebration is on Sunday, but I had my own little celebration with her at home. I bought her a fake cell phone and the candy she picked out at the dollar store. Then, I put all my chores on the back burner and went outside and played with her all night. We had a fantastic time.

This is a picture of Manther watering our new tree in the back yard. She is watering it with a squirt bottle.This is a picture of Manther walking Cookie Monster and Elmo in the wagon. We saw two fire engines on this walk. One had sirens on.

This is a picture of Manther helping Cookie Monster touch the street lamp at the end of the street. Manther enjoys the texture and feel of objects and she likes to share this with her friends. Happy Birthday Big Girl!

TAGS:
family parenting mom kids parents

I am a hypocrite

After all that bitching about yuppies spending money on their kids, guess what Manther is getting for her birthday. She has fallen in love with motorcycles and her daddy just can't say 'no'. This little thing is motorized (really unnecessary since she has boundless energy) and cost as much as cable and internet access for 1 month. Or one week of groceries. Or 1 month's cell phone bill. Or two weeks of gas. You get the picture. Ai-yai-yai. I was going to take a firm stand against it's purchase, but some of the moms I work with suggested I let hubby spoil Manther a bit. I just have to make certain this does not become a regular occurrence. That won't be too difficult. If it becomes a regular occurrence, we won't have a house or garage to store her beautiful gifts in.
TAGS:
family parenting mom kids parents

The screen door is not a trampoline

I am a fresh air fanatic and, for this reason, my patio screen door is very important to me. I love being able to throw open the windows and doors to rid the house of the stale bedroom and cooking odors that harbor in the corners without giving free entry to every bug in Michigan. Our house is a beat-up shack (all we could afford) that had been abused by the previous owners and the patio screen door had not escaped their destructive hand. The corner of the screen was ripped out and, although I had repeatedly tucked it back in with a butter knife, it had to be replaced.
I finally replaced it last weekend and it was a monstrous job. The door could not be popped out easily and I had to wedge and kick and eventually disassemble the surprisingly heavy beast to remove it. I have a hobble now because I punctured the top of my foot in the process. I spent over an hour on the back patio forcing the little gasket and screen in the tiny groove with (you guessed it) my butter knife. Manther learned some new words and also learned she can have all the candy she wants when mommy does house repairs. I forced the door back in and slammed it back and forth (punctured my hand) about 50 times until it jumped onto track. I nearly cried tears of relief and victory when it was back in place. The most amazing thing is that it actually looks pretty good. There weren't a lot of weird waves or bends in the screen. It looked smooth and almost professional.
Manther is fascinated with the new screen. It has good bounce and firmness and makes fine vertical trampoline. She bounces her hands off of it and rolls her face back and forth feeling the screen against her eyes, nose, and mouth. She's tried to climb it a few times and likes to throw her body against it. Yesterday, she started to take a running jump into it, but my screeching stopped her. She pretends to heed my begging and pleas, but returns to her fun screen door games as soon as I am not in the room. Since I work full time, I am 'not in the room' a lot. Today, I will try punishment and I will give her timeouts when she trounces on the screen door. It might prolong the life of the screen door, but I doubt it will save it.
I am working on accepting that the screen door is a luxury for those who don't have dogs and children. If I am able to see it as a 'visitor' rather than a 'permanent resident' in our household, I may actually be able to enjoy it's brief stay with us.
TAGS:
family parenting mom kids parents

Spring!

Spring finally showed itself this weekend. The list of housework and yard work was so long, that I barely visited my blog late last night. I definitely feel a sense of accomplishment and I have the aching bones that go along with this. I seeded the bare spots in the lawn and planted a little tree. I wanted to include a picture of it, but I ran out of time. Maybe later in the week. I also replaced the screen in my patio screen door (this is a terrible job), cleaned a bit of the house, mowed the lawn, laundry, grocery shopping, church, and a meeting. My child was left to raise herself most of the weekend with my racing around the house and my husband working 7 days, but the weather was nice and she didn't seem to mind very much. I did enough mothering to throw some Cheerios, cheese, and juice out on her picnic table every couple of hours and reapply the sunscreen. She sure was dirty when I finally brought her in. Yikes. I wonder if the neighbors noticed a filthy child wandering the back yard unattended for hours. Oh well, none of the authorities showed up so I guess it was okay.

The big news is that I got to go to a meeting this weekend. I am usually only allowed one a week because hubby's attendance is mandatory due to probation and someone does have to stay home with the little one. However, a girl I used to support was in treatment in our neighborhood and feeling a bit isolated, so I paid the buck for a babysitter and I went and supported her. It was wonderful to see her, although I wish it was under better circumstances. Her road trip was rough and she was feeling miserable. She had a few years sober, but went off of her meds (she's bipolar I think) and started with self-destructive behavior that ended with using. She kept telling me how homesick she was. She doesn't have a home to return to, but she desperately wants to return to her hometown and is waiting on a 3/4 house there. I can relate. She is from Ann Arbor. I got sober in Ann Arbor and have lived there half of my life. Ann Arbor is a decent size college town and, in my opinion, a great place to live. I have always considered it home. The level of diversity and culture has made it a really unique place on the map of Michigan. When you travel 20 minutes outside of Ann Arbor, the 'feel' of your environment changes dramatically. My husband and I bought a home outside of Ann Arbor and, although it is a nice neighborhood and a great place to raise a family, I have been homesick ever since my move. I am adjusting SLOWLY and I know I will feel comfortable as a suburban housewife eventually. My friend doesn't have to make the adjustment. She can return home after her brief stay in treatment and I reminded her of that. She appreciated the visit and I appreciated being able to sit and laugh with the treatment folks.

So, now back to work. I am trying to stay focused today so I can get the heck out of here and back into the sun before it leaves us. Happy blogging everyone!
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alcoholism addiction 12-step aa alcoholics anonymous family