Grass...no, not that kind

I was driving by our city buildings yesterday and something caught my eye. No, it was not the building itself, although I am startled by the ostentatious glass structure set in the middle of what was recently a cornfield. I focused on one of the blurbs in the prominent, lit-up, scrolling sign that reads, “Keep it neat! Grass should be no higher than 5 inches.” This bothers me on several levels. I am very American in that I hate it when the government regulates any part of my life that I feel they have no business in. I definitely think they crossed that boundary when they give me suggestions on the length of a proper lawn. The other thing that nagged me is the suggested length, 5 inches. I think my lawn is 5 inches long when I finish cutting it, not when I decide to cut it. This is ‘setting the bar high’, even for the suburbs. So, here’s MY suggestion. Let’s not worry about the length of the lawn because that’s really not hurting anybody. Instead, let’s work on the dangerously aggressive mode of driving that is fashionable in my burb. If we can convince the SUV and minivan drivin’ mamas to view a human life as equal to getting Bobby and Sue to soccer practice on time, we might actually create a safer place to live.
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