Saturday, December 30, 2006

A Drunk Rhino

Hello everyone (or, more likely no one). It's been a few days since posted because I got behind over the holidays. We were expected to attend lots of gatherings. These occurred primarily with my in-laws, but there was also my husband's office party. I had to see my in-laws three times in 2 days and that was about three times too many. They are sedentary, dull-witted folks whose blunt observations are frequently insulting. I don't think they realized they are insulting because their social skills are stunted from tiny social circles (like only seeing each other). They repeatedly attacked my abilities as a mother by criticizing my daughter's pacifier use and then bought her clothes that make toddlers look like grown-ups rather than the primary-colored, Sesame Street stuff she loves. The gifts were generous. They did the best they could. What the hell ever.

I also had to attend my husbands office party and this was entertaining. The rhino got drunk and told us all about the 70's and his teenage and adult children's sex lives. He is definitely an asshole, but he is so darn entertaining that he is starting to grow on me. I simply don't have the literary skills to describe him accurately. He is about 7 feet tall and really loud. After a few drinks, the filter leaves his brain and he says everything that crosses his mind in this huge bellowing voice. He doesn't stagger or slur, but he runs so freely at the mouth it was fantastic. A few more drinks and I'm sure we could have found out about some extramarital affairs.

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