Monday, December 11, 2006

Letting Down the Team

I apologize to anyone who was anxiously awaiting my post yesterday. I was caught off guard by my husband ripping out the carpet in the living room and I suddenly found myself scrubbing, dusting, and purchasing cheap area rugs to keep it livable. He did a fine job and it has greatly improved the look of our home, although he could have done a crappy job and it still would have greatly improved the look of our home because the 20-year-old stained carpet was NASTY.
I have returned to work today and I have an ookie feeling. I always feel guilty when I take a sick day, like I let down the team. The reality is there is no team. I work more or less independently and no one has to fill in for me or do extra when I'm not here. Also, the sick time has been allotted to me by the powers that be. So, why the ookie feeling? I don't think it's my imagination since I don't have a very active one. I think there are probably some waves of jealously and superiority being sent my way from folks who work alongside me. I used to share these emotions when I was younger and cockier. When coworkers called in, I immediately labeled them as unmotivated hypochondriacs who would never succeed to the levels that I would at work. The greater truth was they had the day off and I was jealous. It is a decade later and I have not really succeeded in the workplaceand I have adjusted my work ethic accordingly. Now when people call in, I say things like, "I'm glad they've taken this time to take care of themselves and I hope everything works out okay. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help." I don't feel that way at all. I am still jealous they had the day off and I didn't, but I am a wee bit more humble, significantly more politically correct, and far more honest with myself than I was in my twenties.

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