Friday, December 8, 2006

Puke

This is day two of an exciting new chapter in my life where everything I do is recorded on the internet for all to read. Yesteday I mentioned I was nervous doing this. I'm over that today. I thought there might be people (general public people) who would read some of the stuff I wrote. I found that didn't happen so all the performance anxiety has melted away. Today's entry is entitled 'puke' because that is how I started the day. That is also a new word my daughter learned today. I woke up and found a sea of vomit in my daughter's crib and she was in tears. So, a bath, a change of pajamas, and a change of sheets occurred and then everyone went back to bed. During this process I supplied some commentary along the lines of, "Yuck, this is really a lot of stinky puke.' At this point my daughter would repeat, 'Puke.' What a great learning experience. The bonus thing that came from this is that I did not have to go to work. So, I am midway through day one of my three day weekend. Here is some information I will provide JUST IN CASE anyone wonders if I have obtained anymore evidence regarding my husband's secret life. As predicted, the mild prescription cream has done nothing against the deadly parasite he is carrying and two more spots have shown up on his stomach. Also, he requested warmer clothing (long underwear and sweats) last night. This request came right before he left for an hour under the pretense of going for a walk. The explanation he is using to justify this request is that his doctor told him to lose weight and he is going to start walking every night outside. I believe all of this is an exercise to determine if the bioterrorist weapon he is carrying can survive exposure to low temperatures for extended periods of time. I can understand why anyone reading this might feel it is time for me to contact the authorities and turn my husband in. I will need to acquire more evidence before I can convince myself that the local authorities are not involved. I want to assure everyone that I will remain vigilant and this situation will not get out of control.
TAGS:
marriage

1 comment:

Omara said...

Just found your blog and I'm reading from the start. Very funny! Did your husband turn out to be a secret bio-whatever agent?