Saturday, June 9, 2007

Giving 100%

I have been blog lazy for the past few days. We are trying to have a garage sale and it is consuming all of my free time. I am glad to get rid of all the stuff, but I am not enthusiastic about the scrubbing, organizing, and pricing. I took a break today to go the a surprise 50th birthday party for the neighbor. I wish I had stayed home.
I really like the guest of honor. He is the nicest guy and frequently does our snowblowing. He is a little bit quiet and very laid back and seems to be a great father and husband. His wife is nice, also, although she is a more outspoken and louder than her spouse. I met her whole family today and it was very uncomfortable. The host of the party was the wife's best friend and the party was populated by primarily two groups of people, the wife's family and the guest of honor's coworkers. The host seemed be working very hard and I would have expected the wife's family to pitch in. They talked about it, but rather than helping they discussed how much they had already helped. Then, the wife's family decided to start drinking (and sending children to fetch drinks, one of my pet peeves) and got a louder and cruder while the host and her husband continued to work very hard. The wife ended up leaving to tend to a sick baby and that is, of course, a priority and very valid. I was frustrated her family was partying rather than stepping up and filling in.
I am sure there are folks reading this who think I am simply overreacting to the consumption of alcohol and having a 'good time'. I can't answer with certainty, but I don't think that was the case. I have been around people partying since I have gotten sober. I am not in that environment a lot because I choose to avoid it if possible, but it has happened a few times. Am I uncomfortable in this situation? Yes, usually on some level I am. Was today's discomfort different? Yes, there was a lot more frustration and anger in it.
My commitment was short and I left quickly and it bothered no one. I am glad. And grateful. I come from a famiy where pitching in is taught early on and it's hard for me to watch people celebrate at the expense of the host of the party.


Gwen said...

But for the grace of good. Those situations keep me grateful~

Have a great week,

girl said...

You gotta big ol' heart, dontcha?

Lisa said...

Wow. Can't beleive the family wasn't pitching in.

When we do parties, I've learned our families LIKE to pitch in. So we actually have to save a few things for them to do because that way they've got something to do and feel like they've made a contribution the the party's success.

Tab said...

That all sounds perfectly understandable Sarah..I think its healthy for you to be honest about how it all made you feel and then let it go.Being grateful for who you are today is what is most important.
Sometimes I get uncomfortable around people drinking..especially in bars.Not because I have had a problem with alcohol but because so many people have a problem with it around me!
You keep it real girl :)
Thanks for sharing.

Doc's Girl said...

I always say that I'm not against people drinking--I'm against ME drinking. :) I, too, go to house parties and am amazed by the alcohol consumption by others and the things that they do (kids fetching drinks). But, it is a constant reminder that sobriety is a gift...

You did the right thing for keeping your meeting with them brief. :)

Trudging said...

Yes, but for the grace of God

vicariousrising said...

Oh, I hear ya. It's so hard for me to not want to step in and tell them that they are not living life the way I want them to. That they would not only benefit themselves by changing their ways, but they would make my life so much better by not acting like that. Unfortunately for me, I end up with the headache for banging my head against that wall. I got a lump on my head to prove it.

Oh, man, do I ever know what you are talking about. I am so glad that I, like you, can step out of those situations and be good to myself now.

You're a great gal. Thanks for sharing this. I like to know I'm not the only one.