One of the gifts of being a mother

"You'll bestow on this family the wonder that lets parents see though child's eyes, helping them recapture the innocence and moments of sweet surprise."

from 'the Gift of an Angel' by Marianne Richmond

This quote is from a book my sister gave me when I was pregnant and it tells the story of God choosing a guardian angel for a child right before the child is born. The line above is one of the duties that God assigns his angel. The book is very sweet and I cried and blubbered everytime I read it when I was pregnant. Of course, I cried several times a day the first five months of my pregnancy so it didn't take much to trigger the waterworks. As I watched Manther last night, the truth that these words express became clear to me. We were at the library for storytime and stayed a few minutes to play on the computer. It was dark when we left and it was snowing. The snow was big and fluffy and the flakes were falling thick and fast. Manther stopped walking and held her arms out to watch the snow collect and melt in the folds of her hands and coat. We live in Michigan, so she knew what it was and was repeating "snow...snow...snow" softly to herself. After a few minutes, I convinced her to keep walking. She made it a few feet and then looked up and saw the patterns of swirling snow in the lights of the parking lot. She squealed with delight and ran into the middle of the parking lot. She danced clumsy, toddler circles underneath the lights as she sang, "Snow!..Snow!..Snow! It has been years since I was able to be delighted by a fluffy snowstorm and I was immersed in Manther's 'wonder' and 'surprise'. This only lasted a minute because I felt I should remove my child from the middle of a parking lot at night in a snowstorm. But, a minute was long enough for me to recognize that I am truly blessed to be a mother.
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parenting mom kids parents

I think I spoke too soon....

A few weeks ago, I posted something on television and toddlers and naively stated that my daughter (21 months old) was not interested in TV. I was WAY wrong. Either Manther was too young to truly appreciate TV or the weather wasn't cold enough yet, but this weekend she focused on the digital images and fell in love. We have an overindulgent neighbor who was concerned that my spoiled daughter might not have enough TV in her life, so he supplied us with 5 children's DVDs (3 Sesame Street with Elmo) and a DVD player. Manther has been completely and irretrievably hooked on the TV and now asks for it at least 5 times a day.

In her defense, there is not a whole lot to do in Michigan in January. It is too cold to play outside, so I dragged her tricycle and big wheel into the basement. She sat down on one and scooted 11 ft to the wall and then looked at me and whined. A damp basement is not really a good alternative to the great outdoors. We did find a bit of entertainment washing comforters at the laundrymat. Manther enjoyed opening and shutting the washing machine doors, pushing the carts around, and running up and down all the aisleways. After a few minutes of this, the manager started shooting me dirty looks so I had to calm her down. She migrated over to a group of kids who were also trapped at the laundrymat enjoying a Michigan winter. After a few minutes, a tween age girl came up to me and told me Manther was following her. I admitted that I had noticed this and thought it was because the girl had such cool shoes (they had wheels in the heels). This was a lie and I think the little girl knew this, but she played with Manther anyway and she didn't even ask for money. Only 8 more weeks of winter to go!
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parenting mom kids parents

A Highly Skilled Grocery Bagger

I work in a research laboratory and and about 6 of every 18 months one of the clinicians from our department comes and works with me. Right now I have a coworker and it's a nice break from being here by myself. Today I found out that my new coworker is not only a clinician and a surgeon, but also a highly skilled grocery bagger. Apparently, he won a contest when he was in high school for grocery bagging. You must be able to fill evenly weighted grocery bags with great speed and he made it to the finals. However, the day of the finals there was a power outage. He and his manager heard the competition would be rescheduled, so they stayed home. As you may have guessed, the contest was delayed, not rescheduled, so he missed his opportunity to compete. He seems to have recovered well, but I am sure he wonders what could have been.
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work career jobs employment

Is liquid soap really neater?

When I was a very young child, liquid soap was a thing used in public restrooms. The soap used in your bathroom at home was a solid chunk of stuff that you lathered under water. The soap did leave a goopy mess on the edge of the sink and I guess this is why liquid soap in cute, little pump bottles was so popular when it appeared on grocery store shelves. I believe 'Softsoap' was the first brand on the market and it was available in all sorts of cool colors and scents. I like the smells and colors and the opportunity to accessorize my bathroom, so I have a pale green, cucumber-melon bottle of liquid soap in my bathroom. Recently, Manther has become tall enough to reach onto tables and countertops and I noticed she also fancies the liquid soap. Whenever the opportunity presents itself, she drags the bottle into a discreet corner of the house and starts pumping. I have found puddles of liquid soap on the carpet, on the wood floor, on my end tables, and in the bottom of the laundry basket (she thinks I can't see her when she's sitting in the laundry basket). If I smell cucumber-melon on her and she's been out of sight for a few minutes, I know it's time to start looking for the sticky puddle. Even though I'm going to miss the fresh color and fruity scent, I think it's time to replace the nifty pump bottle with a boring bar of Dial.
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parenting mom kids parents

Economic Insecurity times 10

A few days ago, I wrote about economic insecurity. It is one of my big struggles as a recovering alcoholic (probably as a regular person, too, I don't know, I don't think I've ever been a regular person). Well, it has shown it's ugly head again. I live in Michigan and the economy has been weak here, but yesterday it got a lot weaker as a major pharmaceutical company and employer of thousands announced it will shut it's doors. I have family, friends, and colleagues who are (were?) employed there and their heads are spinning. My prayers go out to all of them because they are facing some serious challenges. It will be virtually impossible to find another job in Michigan with the unemployment rates over 7% and rising. They will have to job hunt nationally and, if they're lucky enough to find employment, uproot families, sell houses at below bargain rate, and start over again. The employer had promised to relocate 70% of employees, but I would be surprised if they relocated even 50%. I firmly believe this is a lie they perpetuate to keep their ex-employees from bombing the facility. For the rest of us who live in Michigan and still have jobs, the future looks so bleak. It will be years before we can recover from the losses of the auto industry and every loss we experience on top of that extends those years. Much of southeast Michigan is experiencing urban blight already and the poverty is going to keep growing. I want to believe that we will be okay and that God has a plan, but it is a struggle. I am so fearful that layoffs will continue, that funding for my job will be cut, that the sales my husband's job depends on will drop so he loses his job, that we will be struggling to pay for a house that is in a neighborhood that has become unlivable due to the surrounding crime and poverty. I know these fears sound irrational because we still have jobs and there is still some commerce and economy in Michigan. I am doing my best to pray a lot and remember that God has brought us through many things and has the power to bring us (and the rest of the folks in Michigan) through this also.
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alcoholism addiction 12-step aa alcoholics anonymous

HUG!

Manther has always been an avid eater. She starting nursing with no coaching when she was about 20 minutes old and she nursed for hours and hours each day. She was constantly hungry until she was ~ 10 months old and was given solid, chewable food. She is 21 months old next Saturday and I never have to coax her to eat. Sometimes I have to convince her to eat the right things, but she generally approaches food unprejudiced and enthusiastically. She has a 'Little Tykes' kitchen and enjoys pretending with food when she's not using the real stuff. I know all this about her, but her behaviors this weekend made me realize that I had probably underestimated her passion for food. Saturday morning she stumbled out of bed and wandered into the kitchen. I assumed she was looking for me and turned to greet her. She looked at the refrigerator and exclaimed, "HUG!", as she stretched her arms the width of the refrigerator and tightly embraced the door. Perhaps we can skip the four year BA/BS and send her straight to culinary school?
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parenting mom kids parents

A Hole in the Ceiling

This post is to set things straight with my coworker, L. Occasionally, I come into work and complain about my husband. He is a good husband and father, but he falls behind in the house repairs. Last week I posted a picture of Manther's potty. There is a pretty clear view of the bathroom floor surrounding the potty and it looks great. My husband does floors and we have beautiful ceramic, wood, and vinyl/limestone composition tile in our home. My coworker, L, saw the picture (bless her heart for reading this crappy blog) and immediately labeled me as a husband nag. I felt I had to defend myself so I have supplied two fine examples of negligence with the repairs in our home.

1) The top picture is our kitchen ceiling. It has looked damaged since we moved into the house (2 years ago) and a month ago it broke through completely and dumped water on the floor. It now leaks whenever we get enough rain. I am pretty sure it will fall in on us after a few more days of heavy rain.

2) The bottom picture is our tub and there is a huge gouge in the ceramic along the edge. This has been there since we moved in, also.

In his defense, my husband does work a lot of weekends, the house was obviously a 'fixer-upper', and we are far too broke to contract this work out. So, is the word 'negligent' too strong? I don't think so. My husband manages to find time for every major sporting event. I think it's an issue of priority more than time. I hope my husband reprioritizes before the entire ceiling in on the kitchen floor.

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marriage family home home repair