Women who inspire me - part one

Recently, I was listing my blog on a 'mom' site and I had to fill out a little bio. One of the questions was, "What inspires you?" My first answer was, "Moms who do it all and do it well, whether they are SAHM, WM, or WAHM." This answer is not accurate. I am inspired by women who do it all and do it well. It does not matter to me if they are moms. I decided that I will occasionally (maybe weekly?) post on a women who inspires me. There are many unsung heroes in my life and I want to sing about them!

Today I am featuring my 3rd and 4th grade (small school, combined classrooms) teacher, Laura Lemke. Miss Lemke was passionate about books, art, music, and learning and showed children how to love these things, too. I can remember days that story hour lasted twice as long as the scheduled time because we were at a good part in the book and she didn't want to stop. She was a gifted teacher and created a learning atmosphere that made it possible for children to learn on many different levels. As far as I could tell, she received no great rewards for her work. She was paid a meager salary because she taught at a small, parochial school. She lived in a little, brown, wood house that was in someone's back yard and she drove a car that looked like it only had a few more miles left in it. None of these things appeared to dissuade or embitter her. She was always enthusiastic and motivated in the classroom. I don't think Miss Lemke teaches anymore because she returned to school to obtain a graduate degree. I consider myself fortunate to have had to opportunity to be one of her students.

A few weeks ago, I believe I saw Miss Lemke as I was dragging Manther out of the car at my niece's Christmas pagent. I was caught off guard and I didn't call out to her and thank her for being my teacher. I regret that I didn't seize the opportunity and, if the situation arises again, I will make it a point to express my gratitude.
TAGS:
inspirational motivational motivation

I eat like a 15 year old boy

In the very early hours this morning, I was in my bathroom depositing a little upchuck in the toilet (I did include a link for throwing up, what a great link!). I was grateful because I was pretty certain I would feel better afterwards, but I was also a little curious about the source. As I lay my sweaty head on the wonderfully cold ceramic tile following the purge, I ran over the list of possiblities in my head. My child attends daycare, so it is usually very obvious where the virus originated and who amplified it so it could attack me. But, she hasn't puked since the beginning of December and this doesn't mesh with the 14 day incubation period of your standard virus. My next candidate was food poisining. I made a mental list of what I ate yesterday and I was so disgusted I almost lost my lunch all over again. Are you ready? (this is chronological): a generous thermos of coffee, stale pretzels and graham crackers from the diaper bag, mashed potatoes, roast beef, corn, ~ 2 candy bars worth of chocolate, 3 stale Christmas cookies, another cup of coffee, 2 generous plates of food at your standard cafeteria style all you can eat restaurant (in-laws Bday party), and a piece of strawberry birthday cake. I have been blessed with a high metabolism, so I don't weigh 350 lbs as I obviously should with a diet like this. However, I don't care what you're metabolism is, obscene overeating is NOT good for you. I gave up trying to decide what made me sick and decided to make a belated New Year's resolution to care about myself and my family enough to not eat like a teenager. We'll see if I can stick to it.
TAGS:
New Years

Economic Insecurity

As anyone who has been at enough AA meetings will tell you, there is this excerpt from the AA book called 'the promises' that is read at many meetings and it is my favorite reading. My first six months, my latent bitterness and anger would mount when I heard this reading. I considered it a sales pitch and I was certain the gifts outlined in the promises would never come true for me. I was wrong, just as I am sure many other alcoholics were. As I continued to come to meetings and work the steps with my sponsor, these beautiful miracles unfolded in my life one after another and I was given 10 fold more than I thought was possible.

However, I still struggle with economic insecurity. God has always provided, although sometimes it was tough. My husband sustained a debilitating back injury and ugly relapse 18months ago and I thought we would never get through. I got a second job that I could take the baby to on weekends and we pinched every penny and made it through with lots of tears and prayers. My husband healed and found a job that fit his physical limitations (another miracle since we live in Michigan during the worst economic blight this state has seen). The job is far from perfect, but it is a job. Yesterday, my husband's supervisor once AGAIN took money out of his check because there were two holiday days this week and the asshole rhino just decided not to pay people for holiday days. I am furious and, of course, the bottom line is fear. I am terrified there won't be enough and I feel like this A LOT. My fear of economic insecurity increased exponentially when I had a kid. Suddenly, I have to bring home the bacon or this little being will starve. The reality is we have never really come close to starving and, as I mentioned previously, God has always brought us through. So, why is this fear such a big one for me? My husband (who is really on my sweetheart list right now) is out busting his butt on sidejobs this weekend and I know he has more coming down the pipeline. I am going to straighten this house up and drink some coffee and do some praying while Manther sleeps. I am tired of letting fear rule me.
TAGS:
alcoholism addiction 12-step aa alcoholics anonymous work career jobs employment

The VooDoo Muppet

Thank you to everyone who left comments yesterday. They were the first comments I received and I was feeling very warm and fuzzy after I read them. I didn't respond to them directly because I am on the learning curve and couldn't figure our exactly how to do it. Give me some time.

I anticipated last night would be an uneventful evening and I intended to do a few house chores and play with my daughter (who I will refer to as Manther from this point forward). Things were going smoothly and I was sorting some laundry while Manther studied my movements. She spied a dirty ELMO t-shirt and started a temper tantrum. I tried to reason with her (I know I'm a fool) and point out that she was ALREADY wearing an ELMO sweatshirt and Mommy really needed to wash the filthy Elmos so she can continue her quest for '100 days of sporting ELMO' at daycare. My pleas/threats/discussions fell on deaf ears and the dramatic weeping continued. Manther finished the evening wearing an ELMO t-shirt over the top of her ELMO sweatshirt.

I was feeling a bit less than serene after getting the laundry to the washer and, while Manther and I were having some col0ring time at the kitchen table, I decided to mold a little ELMO from playdough (I know this looks more like 'Mr. Bill' than ELMO). Then, I gave ELMO a very satisfying slam onto the kitchen table. A few seconds of tense silence followed as I realized I had just crushed my daughter's incarnation of safety and security right before her very eyes. I braced myself for the tears that would certainly have to follow such a thoughtless action. Instead, she giggled with perverse delight and asked me to do it again (MO ELMO!). I believe I have finally found a game we will both enjoy.

TAGS:
parenting mom kids parents

Wednesday Night AA

Yes, last night was my weekly AA meeting I was excited about it. My current family circumstances only allow me one a week, although I obviously need more as I am sure readers will ascertain from the following post. I really look forward to this meeting because I get to sit still for an entire hour without nags from a supervisor, toddler, husband, or telephone. I have a brutal cold that my daughter brought home from daycare and I was a bit feverish and hoarse, but I didn't let this stop me. Frequently, I leave the meeting feeling refreshed and serene, however, I ocasionally leave feeling irritated and this happened last night. I know it's wrong and the problem is me and my compromised health rather than the folks surrounding me. BUT, I am going to use my blog to bitch because it's mine and I can.

Why do people who have been sober a few years share their clean time at every table they sit at? This is not a competition. The NEWCOMER is the most important person, not YOU with your 11, 14, 17, or 28 years sober. Certainly, it is wonderful to show newcomers that the program works, but there weren't any newcomers at our table. What happened last night certainly felt like an I'm-more-sober-than-you-a -thon and I was annoyed. The take home lesson for me is humility. I need to remain teachable no matter how many '24 hrs' it has been since my last drink.
TAGS:
alcoholism addiction 12-step aa alcoholics anonymous

Television for Toddlers

I decided to post on this topic because it appears to be very controversial and I can practice putting all sorts of nifty links in my post. Apparantly, the recent experts on the subject are the American Academy of Pediatrics and they say don't let children under two watch television. It seems this has generated a lot of guilt for moms. Apparently, TV watching is an even worse sin when you do it in a car? I have a 20 month old and I did decide not to turn the TV on and let her watch children's programs as long as I could realistically avoid it. However, her father is an absolute fanatic about sports and, when he is home, there is always a TV on in the house. She sees a whole lot of ESPN.

Recently, I did break down and play a children's video. My daughter adores ELMO and I saw an ELMO exercise video at the library and thought it might be fun (and maybe I might burn a few calories). She watched with interest the first few minutes when Elmo was on the screen, but then she played with toys and only glanced at the TV occasionally. I exercised and danced to Elmo alone and looked like a fool doing it. I guess I'm lucky. My kid isn't particularly interested in TV right now. However, I have a niece who was addicted when she was younger. When she needed consolation from an injury or an injustice, she would ask for a 'wideo'. Her mother was a WAHM who tried to control the intake of videos, but it was a constant struggle. The kid could watch 6 hrs of videos back to back from the age of 2 and a half. She is a very normal, socially fit, academically strong, athletic, and active 12 year old now. She is not overweight or autistic (I think the autism research is a really crappy way to lay blame on the parents of autistic children).

Kids have addictive tendencies and they will usually do fun things in excess. Many adults will, too. My daughter happens to be obsessed with junk food and candy rather than TV. I guess it is our job as parents to limit this stuff before it fries their brains or screws up their metabolism, but I'm not going to beat myself up if my kid wins sometimes. I will just do my best to stash the candy bowl and turn the TV off and go for a walk or play a game together.
TAGS:
parenting mom kids parents

Work Sucks, Slot machines are fun

Welcome back everybody. It was a painful and arduous crawl to get into work this morning, but I made it and I was on time. That is all I have accomplished at this point. I am grateful to have a job, but if I could exist comfortably without a job I would quit really fast.

The New Year's celebrations have come and gone. I celebrated New Year's Eve by traveling to my local grocery store and buying a bag of hot wings and a 2 liter of Pepsi. We proceeded to watch South Park and eat hot wings. There was one minor catastrophe when my daughter rubbed hot wing juice into her eye, but other than that we made it through unscathed.

We celebrated New Year's Day watching our favorite team's bowl game and it was a miserable showing. We offset the misery by playing with the neighbor's slot machines. They're real slot machines, but you can't win real money because he uses tokens. Our 20 month old quickly learned how to jam the coins in and push the buttons and she was absolutely delighted. That is the longest I have ever seen her entertained by one object. The coins would come shooting out and the lights would flash when she won and I have never before seen such pure joy in her eyes. I am a little scared for what the future holds.
TAGS:
work career jobs employment New Years